65 Humorous and Funny Quotes About Mortality, Death

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Humorous and Funny Quotes About Mortality, Death

What is there not to fear about death? It’s the final chapter of Life! While some people fear death, others accept it as a natural part of life. So, why do some people have a greater fear of it than others?  Read all the 65 Humorous and Funny Quotes About Mortality, Death to understand death.

Whether I’m writing a novel about a guy mourning the death of his father or whether I’m writing a show about people killing each other, you want to hear characters speak and be funny and witty. -Jonathan Tropper

I made a supreme effort not to do that thing that parents do, which is to bore people without children to death by going on and on about how funny their children are, so there’s none of that hopefully. -Jo Brand

And, in a funny way, each death is different and you mourn each death differently and each death brings back the death you mourned earlier and you get into a bit of a pile-up.

65 Humorous and Funny Quotes About Mortality, Death

It’s funny, though, speaking of fathers and sons, because me and John Goodman played father and son, like, five or six years ago in the film ‘Death Sentence,’ and I got back with him again in ‘Inside Llewyn Davis.’ -Garrett Hedlund

I think since I’m not particularly well-known as myself, it’s funny all the different perceptions people have of me. Like, if someone’s only seen me in ‘Death Proof,’ they think I’m sort of a ditzy girl who says stupid things and wears revealing outfits all the time. -Mary Elizabeth Winstead

Because death and illness are the most horrible things in life, of course that’s where the most absurdly funny things are going to happen.

65 Humorous and Funny Quotes About Mortality, Death

The fact that ‘A Dirty Job’ has comedy and supernatural horror in it, that both are woven in and out of it with a whimsical tone, despite the fact that it’s about death, makes it hard to characterize with standard genre labels – but I have no problem with that. I’d call it a funny story about death, and leave it at that. -Christopher Moore

For a culture that has such a problem with death, we seem to deal with it in a quite bizarre way. We see people shot, killed and blown up, and we find it funny and sexy and all those things. But, the reality of it is that every day people die, and people are really sad and they grieve and they go through a really difficult process with it. -Michael Sheen

While death is sadly inevitable, our grief will soon pass like a swallowed penny through one’s bowels. Painful change just takes time.

65 Humorous and Funny Quotes About Mortality, Death

… nothing broke my heart like the slow death of a shared joke that had once seemed genuinely funny. -Curtis Sittenfeld

Ohh, how clever,” Aden said and clapped. “A death threat. You know what’s funny? That’s not even my first of the day. – Gena Showalter

Well, life is dark, isn’t it Mostly, it’s dreadful. At the same time, death is funny too. I mean, look at the fuss we make of it.

65 Humorous and Funny Quotes About Mortality, Death

MFA in a Box is designed to help you to find the courage to put truth into words and to understand that writing is a life-and-death endeavor – but that nothing about a life-and-death endeavor keeps it from being laugh-out-loud funny. – John Rember

The first way not to shake hands is executed by receiving someone’s hand in yours and proceeding to squeeze it tightly, hurting the other party as if they were responsible for a past death in your family, or your adoption as a child. – Wes Locher

There’s a story everywhere. Being bored to death someplace is basically a funny proposition. What you have to watch out for is you don’t write a boring story about a boring place.

There's a story everywhere. Being bored to death someplace is basically a funny proposition. What you have to watch out for is you don't write a boring story about a boring place.

The one thing I’ve found you really can’t joke about -and people think it’s death or something -is money. No one thinks it’s funny, whether you have it or you don’t. Money is just something no one seems to like joking about. – Anthony Jeselnik

It is not funny that a man should be killed, but it is sometimes funny that he should be killed for so little, and that his death should be the coin of what we call civilization. – Raymond Chandler

There’s a saying, isn’t there, that when you’ve had a near death experience, all you want to do is have sex

There's a saying, isn't there, that when you've had a near death experience, all you want to do is have sex

The main thing I like about New Yorkers is that they understand that their lives are a relentless circus of horrors, ending in death. As New Yorkers, we realize this, we resign ourselves to our fate, and we make sure that everyone else is as miserable as we are. Good town. – Kyle Baker

Glaring at the Gasman, ter Borcht said, “Your time is coming to an end, you
pathetic failure of an experiment. Vhat you say now is how you vill be
remembered.”

Then why are there so many jokes about death Jill, with us -us humans -death is so sad that we must laugh at it.

Then why are there so many jokes about death Jill, with us -us humans -death is so sad that we must laugh at it.

Death is funny, when you think about it. Everybody does it, but nobody knows how, exactly how. – Laurie Halse Anderson

Life is better than death, I believe, if only because it is less boring, and because it has fresh peaches in it. – Alice Walker

The funny thing about facing imminent death is that it really snaps everything else into perspective.

The funny thing about facing imminent death is that it really snaps everything else into perspective.

Time rushes by and yet time is frozen. Funny how we get so exact about time at the end of life and at its beginning. She died at 6:08 or 3:46, we say, or the baby was born at 4:02. But in between we slosh through huge swatches of time weeks, months, years, decades even. – Helen Prejean

This is the way I want to die. Torn apart by angry fans who want me to play a different song. – Regina Spektor

The age-old faith of lovers and poets in the power of love, stronger than death, that Finis vitae sed non amoris , is a lie, useless and not even funny.

The age-old faith of lovers and poets in the power of love, stronger than death, that Finis vitae sed non amoris , is a lie, useless and not even funny.

Death is complicated.” -Johann Kraus – John Arcudi

The funny thing about facing imminent death is that it really snaps everything else into perspective. – James Patterson

Life is too fleet for onomatopoeia.

Life is too fleet for onomatopoeia.

Well, I’m not scared of death because I know where I’m going. And the funny thing is that the worst thing Satan can throw at you is death. So if I get death, I get heaven. – Colton Burpo

Life is a near-death experience. – George Carlin

It’s funny All my friends back home are always wondering why every television show I’m on is a drama, but all the comedy pilots I did died a slow and painful death.

It's funny All my friends back home are always wondering why every television show I'm on is a drama, but all the comedy pilots I did died a slow and painful death.

The neck in front of her came up. The head swivelled 180 degrees and the horse looked at Kin with bright insectile eyes.
‘YOUR WISH IS MY COMMAND,’ it said inside Kin’s head.
‘Hell!’
‘THOSE ARE NOT MEANINGFUL CO-ORDINATES. – Terry Pratchett

I want to give kids that fall-off-the-bed-laughing feeling. Either that, or the sixth-grade feeling that life is hard -sometimes unbearably hard -and it is ultimately about death. But in the meantime, life can be really funny, too. – Kate Klise

It was almost funny. Life seemed downright accidental in its brevity, and death a punch line to a lousy joke.

It was almost funny. Life seemed downright accidental in its brevity, and death a punch line to a lousy joke.

The mother I’m completely over but the daughter I love to death. The mother I’d like to love to death.” “Heh.” “Don’t do me any favors; only laugh if it’s funny.” “It is! – Ned Vizzini

What? Why are you making the glee nose? The death of my world is funny? The final vengeance of my people? I will kill you. – Jackson Lanzing

If no one knows when a person is going to die, how can we say he died prematurely?

If no one knows when a person is going to die, how can we say he died prematurely

You know, it’s a funny thing. You can smoke yourself to death, drink yourself to death, work yourself to death, and even eat yourself to death. But that’s all acceptable. The only thing you can’t do medically is screw yourself to death, and yet that’s where they put all the obstacles. – Mario Puzo

Well, life is dark, isn’t it? Mostly, it’s dreadful. At the same time, death is funny too. I mean, look at the fuss we make of it. – Upamanyu Chatterjee

I think beating someone to death with a ukulele would just sound funny.

I think beating someone to death with a ukulele would just sound funny.

Man is born for uprightness. If a man lose his uprightness and yet live, his escape from death is mere good fortune. – Confucius

Death is a funny thing. Not funny haha, like a Woody Allen movie, but funny strange, like a Woody Allen marriage. – Norm MacDonald

I do know this When somebody has to look great on the screen, that’s the death of funny.

I do know this When somebody has to look great on the screen, that's the death of funny.

God-fucking-damn but he was seriously good-looking. “Have you ever had the stuffed pancakes here? They’re evil. I highly recommend them.”
“Heh. The cop is recommending evil,” I said. “Too funny.”
To my surprise, Ivanov chuckled. “You’ve discovered my dark side. – Diana Rowland

I am in love, and the river is beginning to ice over. I’d better go drown myself before I freeze to death.

I am in love, and the river is beginning to ice over. I'd better go drown myself before I freeze to death.

To die famous is the goal of the immortal. To die young is the goal of the healthy. To die memorably is the goal of the survivor. – Bauvard

There’s a story everywhere. Being bored to death someplace is basically a funny proposition. What you have to watch out for is you don’t write a boring story about a boring place. – Tim Cahill

Humor has to surprise us; otherwise, it isn’t funny. It’s a death knell for a writer to be labeled a humorist because then it’s not a surprise anymore.

Humor has to surprise us; otherwise, it isn't funny. It's a death knell for a writer to be labeled a humorist because then it's not a surprise anymore.

Rick to Herschel: My wife is pregnant. That is either a gift here, or a death sentence out there. – The Walking Dead
You know, darkness is a funny thing. Little by little, it creeps up on you and before you know it, you can’t escape it – Mackie Burt

And, in a funny way, each death is different and you mourn each death differently and each death brings back the death you mourned earlier and you get into a bit of a pile-up. – Nigella Lawson

Death isn’t funny. Then why are there so many jokes about death Jill, with us us humans death is so sad that we must laugh at it.

Death isn't funny. Then why are there so many jokes about death Jill, with us us humans death is so sad that we must laugh at it.

If you are reading this, I’m dead. Don’t celebrate too much. Jesus is watching. – Katie Graykowski

Selling eternal life is an unbeatable business, with no customers ever asking for their money back after the goods are not delivered. – Victor J. Stenger

Death isn’t a funny thing. We’re all lucky to be living

Death isn't a funny thing. We're all lucky to be living

I made a supreme effort not to do that thing that parents do, which is to bore people without children to death by going on and on about how funny their children are, so there’s none of that hopefully. – Jo Brand

It’s funny: All my friends back home are always wondering why every television show I’m on is a drama, but all the comedy pilots I did died a slow and painful death. – Eric Ladin

Death is funny, when you think about it. Everybody does it, but nobody knows how, exactly how.

Death is funny, when you think about it. Everybody does it, but nobody knows how, exactly how.

Um … is that thing tame?” Frank said.
The horse whinnied angrily.

“I don’t think so,” Percy guessed. “He just said, ‘I will trample you to death, silly Chinese Canadian baby man’. – Rick Riordan

Such a funny thing death is for mortals. You cry. You morn. You grieve. You get angry. But death is not always tragic, dear one. Sometimes death is the ultimate expression of love. – R.K. Ryals

When he is dissected after his death,” a disrespectful interpreter said of a foreign dignitary, “a million predicates will be found in his stomach: those he swallowed in the past decades without saying them. – Kato Lomb

Some years later, long after he and Megadeth parted company, Jay Jones was stabbed to death with a butter knife during-rumor has it-a fight over a bolonga sandwich. That’s not funny, of course. But, if you knew Jay, neither is it particularly suprising. – Dave Mustaine

Felt my heartbeat falter, hesitate, then stumble awkwardly forward, tripping on the next beat, then the next, faster and faster until each one tumbled into the other like the drumroll of dominoes crashing together. Funny how time stands still when death is imminent. – Darynda Jones

Every single living thing is food to at least one living thing. – Mokokoma Mokhonoana

Hope you read and enjoyed all the 65 Humorous and Funny Quotes About Mortality, Death to understand death.