100+ Funny Quotes and Phrases for Silly Sayings Day

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100+ Funny Quotes and Phrases for Silly Sayings Day
Funny Quotes and Silly Sayings Day

Silly Sayings and Phrases

These classics are perfect for Silly Sayings Day! You can even use them this weekend when conversing with friends.

It’s raining cats and dogs

Look what the cat dragged in

The cat’s pajamas

The cat’s meow

Cat got your tongue?

A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush

Bats in the belfry

A dog is a man’s best friend

Hair of the dog that bit you

Bark up the wrong tree

Barking mad

Your chickens will come home to roost

Dont count your chickens before they hatch

High on the hog

Knee high to a grasshopper

Bee’s knees

Fly in the ointment

Snug as a bug in a rug

Like a bull in a china shop

Get your goat

Get off your high horse

Straight from the horses mouth

Don’t look a gift horse in the mouth

Horse feathers

Chew the cud

You can lead a jackass to water, but you can’t make him drink!

Long in the tooth

Go berserk

Off your rocker

Mind your Ps and Qs

Loose lips sink ships

Caught red-handed

Look before you leap

Tickled pink

Tickle my fancy

Funny bone

Skip to my Lou

For Pete’s sake (who is Pete?)

Heavens to Betsy (who is Betsy?)

Heaven forbid

To hell in a hand basket

The jig is up

Face the music

Get your dander up

Fly by the seat of your pants

Head over heels

Beat around the bush

An empty gun makes the loudest bang!

Bite the bullet

Also read: Ralph Waldo Emerson Thanksgiving Poem and other Quotes

Dead ringer

The sky’s the limit

Straighten up

Kick the bucket

A drop in the bucket

Don’t spill the beans

Slower than molasses in January

Fancy pants

A good man is hard to find

Hanky panky

Three sheets to the wind

Sticky wicket

Elbow grease

Old fogey

Hissy fit

Alive and kicking

Dead as a doornail

Where there is a will, there is a way

Always a bridesmaid, never a bride

Holy cow

Holy Toledo

Holy smokes

Jeepers creepers

Rise and shine

My stars

Come in if your nose is clean

That’s the berries!

Hell bent

Don’t get your dander up

On cloud nine

On the wagon

Once in a blue moon

Go to pot

Golly

Gee wiz

Gee Willikers

Dadgum it

Bob: Looks like you’ve been missing a lot of work lately.
Peter: I wouldn’t say I’ve been missing it, Bob.
—Bob (Paul Wilson) and Peter (Ron Livingston), Office Space

Before you marry a person, you should first make them use a computer with slow Internet to see who they really are.
—Will Ferrell

Clothes make the man. Naked people have little or no influence in society. —Mark Twain

100+ Funny Quotes and Phrases for Silly Sayings Day

I love being married. It’s so great to find that one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life.
—Rita Rudner

Ned, I would love to stand here and talk with you—but I’m not going to.
—Phil Connors (Bill Murray), Groundhog Day

When your mother asks, ‘Do you want a piece of advice?’ it is a mere formality. It doesn’t matter if you answer yes or no. You’re going to get it anyway.
—Erma Bombeck

I want my children to have all the things I couldn’t afford. Then I want to move in with them.
—Phyllis Diller

Never follow anyone else’s path. Unless you’re in the woods and you’re lost and you see a path. Then by all means follow that path.
—Ellen DeGeneres

Insomnia sharpens your math skills because you spend all night calculating how much sleep you’ll get if you’re able to ‘fall asleep right now.’
—Anonymous

Breaking up is like knocking over a Coke machine. You can’t do it in one push; you got to rock it back and forth a few times, and then it goes over.
—Jerry (Jerry Seinfeld), Seinfeld

Gentlemen, you can’t fight in here. This is the war room. —President Merkin Muffley (Peter Sellers), Dr. Strangelove

Silly Sayings day 2021

I’m not superstitious, but I am a little stitious.
—Michael Scott (Steve Carrell), The Office

I walk around like everything’s fine, but deep down, inside my shoe, my sock is sliding off.
—Anonymous

I haven’t spoken to my wife in years. I didn’t want to interrupt her.
—Rodney Dangerfield

I used to sell furniture for a living. The trouble was, it was my own.
—Les Dawson

There’s nothing wrong with you that an expensive operation can’t prolong.
—Surgeon (Graham Chapman), Monty Python’s Flying Circus

Someone asked me, if I were stranded on a desert island what book would I bring: ‘How to Build a Boat.’
—Steven Wright

Ted Striker: Surely you can’t be serious.
Dr. Rumack: I am serious. And don’t call me Shirley
—Ted Striker (Robert Hays) and Dr. Rumack (Leslie Nielsen), Airplane!

There is no sunrise so beautiful that it is worth waking me up to see it.
―Mindy Kaling, Is Everyone Hanging Out Without Me?

You know you’ve reached middle age when you’re cautioned to slow down by your doctor, instead of by the police.
—Joan Rivers

Truth hurts. Maybe not as much as jumping on a bicycle with a seat missing, but it hurts.
—Lt. Frank Drebin (Leslie Nielsen), Naked Gun 2½: The Smell of Fear

My Mama says that alligators are ornery because they got all them teeth and no toothbrush.
—Bobby Boucher (Adam Sandler), The Waterboy

I never feel more alone than when I’m trying to put sunscreen on my back.
—Jimmy Kimmel

Marriage is like an unfunny, tense version of Everybody Loves Raymond, but it doesn’t last 22 minutes. It lasts forever.
—Pete (Paul Rudd), Knocked Up

Being a mom means never buying the right amount of produce. Either everyone suddenly loves grapes and a week’s worth are eaten in one afternoon, or fruit flies are congregating around my rotting bananas.
—Lessons from the Minivan

I’m not insane. My mother had me tested.
—Sheldon Cooper (Jim Parsons), The Big Bang Theory

Halloween is the beginning of the holiday shopping season. That’s for women. The beginning of the holiday shopping season for men is Christmas Eve. —David Letterman

Also read 45 Best I Love The Way You Look At Me Quotes

There are only three ages for women in Hollywood: babe, district attorney and Driving Miss Daisy.
—Elise (Goldie Hawn), The First Wives Club

Usher: Bride or groom?
Wedding guest: It should be perfectly obvious I’m neither!
—Four Weddings and a Funeral

Stan Fields: Describe your perfect date.
Cheryl: That’s a tough one. I’d have to say April 25. Because it’s not too hot and not too cold. All you need is a light jacket.
—Stan Fields (William Shatner) and Cheryl Frasier (Heather Burns), Miss Congeniality

I saw a study that said speaking in front of a crowd is considered the number one fear of the average person. Number two was death. This means to the average person, if you have to be at a funeral, you would rather be in the casket than doing the eulogy.
—Jerry Seinfeld

Lucy: There’s just two things keeping me from dancing in that show.
Fred: Your feet?
—Lucy (Lucille Ball) and Fred Mertz (William Frawley), I Love Lucy

Common sense is like deodorant. The people who need it most never use it.
—Anonymous

Coach: How’s a beer sound, Norm?
Norm: I don’t know, I usually finish before they get a word in.
—Coach (Nicholas Colasanto) and Norm (George Wendt), Cheers

If I woke up tomorrow with my head sewn to the carpet, I wouldn’t be more surprised. —Clark Griswold (Chevy Chase), National Lampoon’s Christmas Vacation

I’m sick of following my dreams, man. I’m just going to ask where they’re going and hook up with ’em later. —Mitch Hedberg

I’m sick of following my dreams, man. I’m just going to ask where they’re going and hook up with ’em later. —Mitch Hedberg

There’s nothing simpler than avoiding people you don’t like. Avoiding one’s friends, that’s the real test.
—Dowager Countess Violet Crawley (Maggie Smith), Downton Abbey

If I’m not back in five minutes, just wait longer.
—Ace Ventura (Jim Carrey), Ace Ventura: Pet Detective

The only thing that separates us from the animals is our ability to accessorize.
—Clairee Belcher (Olivia Dukakis), Steel Magnolias

I’m at a place in my life when errands are starting to count as going out.
—Anonymous

A good rule to remember for life is that when it comes to plastic surgery and sushi, never be attracted by a bargain.
—Graham Norton

I’m not good at the advice. Can I interest you in a sarcastic comment?
—Chandler (Matthew Perry), Friends

Here’s all you have to know about men and women: Women are crazy, men are stupid. And the main reason women are crazy is that men are stupid.
—George Carlin

Also read: 75+ Hard Working Women Quotes to Inspire you.

When I’m in social situations, I always hold onto my glass. It makes me feel comfortable and secure and I don’t have to shake hands.
—Larry (Larry David), Curb Your Enthusiasm

As you get older, three things happen. The first is your memory goes, and I can’t remember the other two.
—Sir Norman Wisdom

That’s why New York is so great, though. Everyone you care about can despise you and you can still find a bagel so good, nothing else matters. Who needs love when you’ve got lox? They both stink, but only one tastes good.
—Midge Maisel (Rachel Brosnahan), The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel

Here’s some advice: At a job interview, tell them you’re willing to give 110 percent. Unless the job is a statistician.
—Adam Gropman

Does it disturb anyone else that ‘The Los Angeles Angels’ baseball team translates directly to ‘The The Angels Angels’?
—Neil DeGrasse Tyson

I never forget a face—but in your case, I’ll be glad to make an exception.
—Groucho Marx

Here’s something to think about: How come you never see a headline like ‘Psychic Wins Lottery’?
—Jay Leno

A day without sunshine is like, you know, night.
—Steve Martin

My therapist told me the way to achieve true inner peace is to finish what I start. So far I’ve finished two bags of M&Ms and a chocolate cake. I feel better already.
—Dave Barry

Never do anything out of hunger. Not even eating.
—Frank Semyon (Vince Vaughn), True Detective

My mother always used to say The older you get, the better you get, unless you’re a banana. —Rose (Betty White), The Golden Girls

My mother always used to say The older you get, the better you get, unless you’re a banana. —Rose (Betty White), The Golden Girls

What do you mean, he don’t eat no meat? That’s okay, that’s okay. I make lamb.
—Aunt Voula (Andrea Martin), My Big Fat Greek Wedding

You know you’re getting old when you stoop to tie your shoelaces and wonder what else you could do while you’re down there.
—George Burns

To call you stupid would be an insult to stupid people!
—Wanda (Jamie Lee Curtis), A Fish Called Wanda

Instead of the mahi mahi, may I just get the one mahi because I’m not that hungry?
—Shelley Darlingson (Anna Faris), The House Bunny

Accept who you are. Unless you’re a serial killer.
—Ellen DeGeneres

Francois: Do you know what kind of a bomb it was?
Clouseau: The exploding kind.
—Francois (André Maranne) and Inspector Clouseau (Peter Sellers), The Pink Panther Strikes Again

My ability to turn good news into anxiety is rivaled only by my ability to turn anxiety into chin acne.
—Tina Fey, Bossypants

There is one word that describes people that don’t like me: Irrelevant.
—Anonymous

Why do they call it rush hour when nothing moves?
—Robin Williams

I remember it like it was yesterday. Of course, I don’t really remember yesterday all that well.
—Dory (Ellen DeGeneres), Finding Dory

I don’t have to take this abuse from you; I’ve got hundreds of people dying to abuse me.
—Dr. Peter Venkman (Bill Murray), Ghostbusters

Police officer: Pull over.
Harry: No, it’s a cardigan. But thanks for noticing.
—Harry Dunne (Jeff Daniels), Dumb and Dumber

I grew up with six brothers. That’s how I learned to dance: waiting for the bathroom.
—Bob Hope

If we’re going to pay this much for crab, it better sing and dance and introduce us to the Little Mermaid.
—Claire Foster (Tina Fey), Date Night

I prefer not to think before speaking. I like being as surprised as everyone else by what comes out of my mouth.
—Anonymous

Never put off till tomorrow what you can do the day after tomorrow just as well.
—Mark Twain

Woke up today. It was terrible.
—Grumpy Cat

Eggs are fantastic for a fitness diet. If you don’t like the taste, just add cocoa, flour, sugar, butter, baking powder and cook at 350 for 30 minutes.
—Anonymous

I can’t end my messages with Love, Shaq because the B-52s ruined that for me.
—Meme attributed to Shaquille O’Neal

My husband and I fell in love at first sight. Maybe I should have taken a second look.
—Halley Reed (Mia Farrow), Crimes and Misdemeanors

Thanksgiving dinners take 18 hours to prepare. They are consumed in 12 minutes. Half-times take 12 minutes. This is not a coincidence.
—Erma Bombeck

Insanity runs in my family. It practically gallops.
—Mortimer Brewster (Cary Grant), Arsenic and Old Lace

Brian: Look, you’ve got it all wrong. You don’t need to follow me. You don’t need to follow anybody. You’ve got to think for yourselves. You’re all individuals.
Crowd: Yes, we’re all individuals!
Individual: I’m not!
—Brian (Graham Chapman) and cast, Monty Python’s Life of Brian

Why can’t you just be happy for me and then go home and talk behind my back later like a normal person?
—Lillian (Maya Rudolph), Bridesmaids

Anyone who lives within their means suffers from a lack of imagination.
—Oscar Wilde

Also read: 60+ Kinky Good Morning Messages to Your Boyfriend

What they could do to make it easier is combine the two, real estate and obituaries: Mr. Klein died today leaving a wife, two children, and a spacious three-bedroom apartment with a wood-burning fireplace.
—Harry (Billy Crystal), When Harry Met Sally

The key to faking out the parents is the clammy hands. It’s a good non-specific symptom; I’m a big believer in it. A lot of people will tell you that a good phony fever is a dead lock, but you get a nervous mother, you could wind up in a doctor’s office. That’s worse than school. You fake a stomach cramp, and when you’re bent over, moaning and wailing, you lick your palms. It’s a little childish and stupid, but then, so is high school.
—Ferris Bueller (Matthew Broderick), Ferris Bueller’s Day Off

I like my money where I can see it: hanging in my closet.
—Carrie (Sarah Jessica Parker), Sex and the City

Cal: You are really pushing my buttons today.
Becky: Which one is ‘mute’?
—Waitress, the Musical

The worst part of online shopping is having to get up and get your credit card from your purse.
—Anonymous

I hope you have read all the funny quotes and phrases for silly sayings day. See you again in the next post.