90+ Funny & Sarcastic Love Quotes
Forget the butterflies, I feel the entire zoo in my stomach when I’m with you!
Good thing I brought my library card because I’m totally checking you out.
Always follow your heart, but remember to bring your brain along!
In a room full of art, I’d still stare at you.
Do you believe in love at first sight, or should I walk by again?
Love is being stupid together.- Paul Valery
I lost my teddy bear, can I sleep with you?
Love; A temporary insanity curable by marriage.- Ambrose Bierce
You love flowers, but you cut them. You love animals, but you eat them. You tell me you love me, so now I’m scared!
I love you more than coffee, but please don’t make me prove it.
I love you so much I’d fight a bear for you. Well not a grizzly bear because they have claws, and not a panda bear because they know Kung Fu. But a care bear, I’d definitely fight a care bear for you.
I think you are suffering from a lack of vitamin ME.
You must be made of Iodine, Livermorium, and Uranium because I Lv U!
You’re basically the cutest thing I have ever loved, after my kitten.
I love you with all my belly. I would say heart, but my belly is bigger.
Everyday I fall in love with you more and more. Except yesterday… yesterday you were pretty annoying.
Love makes people do silly things. Like, it made me send you this message!
I solemnly swear I am up to no good. Especially when I am all alone with you!
You’re the obi wan for me.
I love you no matter what you do, but do you have to do so much of it?
I want someone who will look at me the same way I look at chocolate cake.
You’re the cheese to my macaroni.
Besides chocolate, you’re my favorite.
Love doesn’t make the world go round. Love is what makes the ride worthwhile.- Franklin P. Jones
Are you a magician? Because whenever I look at you, everyone else disappears!
I want to be the reason you look down at your phone and smile. Then walk into a pole.
Together with you is my favorite place to be.
Let’s be weird and wonderful together.
It’s amazing how one day someone walks into your life, and then the next day you wonder how you lived without them.
You’re like a dictionary – you add meaning to my life.
Most women desire someone who makes them laugh and also feel safe. So basically a clown ninja.
As a man in a relationship, you have a choice: You can be right or you can be happy.- Ralphie May
Love is sharing your popcorn. – Charles Schultz
You’re just like bacon, beer and chocolate – you make everything better.
Let’s flip a coin. Heads, I’m yours. Tails, you’re mine.
Will you lend me a kiss I promise to give it back.
I love you more than beer, and I really love beer.
I love you even when I’m really, really hungry.
I love you from my head tomatoes.
You want to know who I’m in love with Read the first word again.
You add meaning to my life and yet, you subtract some cash from my wallet.
Her idea of a romantic setting is one that has a diamond in it.
He stole my heart so I’m planning revenge… I am going to take his last name.
Sometimes I look at my boyfriend and think… Damn, he is one lucky man.
I think men who have a pierced ear are better prepared for marriage. They’ve experienced pain and bought jewelry.- Rita Rudner
Promise yourself not to be a woman who needs a man to live, but a woman a man needs.
Stop waiting for your prince on a white horse. Go and find him. The poor man might be lost or stuck on an island or something.
What’s the best way to have your husband remember your anniversary? Get married on his birthday.- Cindy Garner
Forever is a long time, make sure you spend it with someone who makes you laugh!
An archaeologist is the best husband any woman can have; the older she gets, the more interested he is in her.- Agatha Christie
Whatever you may look like, marry a man your own age – as your beauty fades, so will his eyesight.- Phyllis Diller
Every girl deserves a guy that can make her smile even when she doesn’t want to.
Ladies, if a man says he will fix it, he will. There is no need to remind him every 6 months about it.
By all means marry. If you get a good wife, you’ll be happy. If you get a bad one, you’ll become a philosopher.- Socrates
The happiest marriage I can picture would be the union of a deaf man to a blind woman.- Samuel Taylor Coleridge
Love is a fire. But whether it is going to warm your hearth or burn down your house, you can never tell.- Joan Crawford
Relationships are like a walk in the park. Jurassic Park.
Marriage is not just spiritual communion and passionate embraces; marriage is also three-meals-a-day and remembering to carry out the trash.- Joyce Brothers
Facebook should have a limit on how many times you can change your relationship status. After 3 it should default to “Unstable”.
If your significant other is mad at you put a cape on them and say “Now you’re super mad!”.
When a woman says “What?” It’s not because she didn’t hear you. She’s giving you a chance to change what you said.
Say what you will about women but I think being able to turn one sentence into a six-hour argument takes talent.
I love you enough to make our iPhone-Samsung relationship work.
All I know is one of us is right and the other one is you.
Getting into a relationship may seem tempting, but so was getting on the Titanic and look what happened there.
Behind every angry woman stands a man who has absolutely no idea what he did wrong.
The four most important words in any marriage: “I’ll do the dishes”.
A good marriage is like a casserole, only those responsible for it really know what goes in it.
Spend a few minutes a day really listening to your spouse. No matter how stupid his problems sound to you.- Megan Mullally
Real love amounts to withholding the truth, even when you’re offered the perfect opportunity to hurt someone’s feelings.- David Sedaris
Marrying a man is like buying something you’ve been admiring for a long time in a shop window. You may love it when you get it home, but it doesn’t always go with everything else.- Jean Kerr
The secret of a happy marriage remains a secret.- Henry Youngman
Love at first sight is possible, but it pays to take a second look.
Love is like an hourglass, with the heart filling up as the brain empties.- Jules Renard
Women are meant to be loved, not to be understood.- Oscar Wilde
People who throw kisses are hopelessly lazy.- Bob Hope
There are only three things women need in life: food, water, and compliments.- Chris Rock
Love is a lot like a backache, it doesn’t show up on X-rays, but you know it’s there.- George Burns
All you need is love. But a little chocolate now and then doesn’t hurt.- Charles M. Schulz
Before you marry a person, you should first make them use a computer with slow Internet service to see who they really are.- Will Ferrell
A successful relationship requires falling in love many times, always with the same person.- Mignon McLaughlin
Romance is the icing, but love is the cake.
“Love” is the same as “like” except you feel sexier.- Judith Viorst
A kiss without a mustache is like an egg without salt.- Spanish Proverb
Gravitation is not responsible for people falling in love.- Albert Einstein
If you love them in the morning with their eyes full of crust; if you love them at night with their hair full of rollers, chances are, you’re in love.- Miles Davis
At the touch of love, everyone becomes a poet.- Plato
A person in love partly becomes a poet, a composer, and the corniest person in the room.
Being ignored by someone is okay but still texting them is a sin.
Psychology says, You are not afraid to love, you are afraid of not being loved back.
1 word, 4 letters. Makes everyone sad. Seen.
Before falling in love Remember. A girl’s mood can change in just like 0.0003 seconds.
Never read old conversation after 11Pm. I repeat never.
True love and loyal friends are two of the hardest things to find.
Raise your hand if you have a crush on someone who can never be yours.
Dear Ex… I won;t block you or delete you. i’m keeping you there, so you’re able to see how happy i am without you.
Who else is walking single into 2017?
Dear weather, don’t be so cool & romantic!!!.. Re’re single
The brain is the most out standing organ it works 24 hours a day 365 days a year from birth you fall in love.
Sadness is… Waiting for a text from someone who’s not gonna text you.
People don’t fall in love anymore. They just find a temporary attachment who can entertain them.
I think I’m in a love triangle, I love myself, Myself loves me, Me loves I.
Love is a temporary insanity curable by marriage.
Slow reply makes me think that you are talking to someone more important than me.
Hope you read all 90+ Funny and Sarcastic love quotes. See you again in the next post.